Long updates.

25 December 2009










Merry Christmas!









Spend my first xmas in Sandakan, the other reason why it's special is because, it's my first xmas with my in-laws.







The whole family went to KFC to have dinner, at first we went to upstairs to find for seats because we have 10 people is total, so we have to find a long table, although this KFC is big and has 2 storeys, they don't have a single long table, so mother-in-law ask the manager to find us a long table. The person told us to go downstairs, and he have to combine two tables because out of no choice. My mother-in-law insisted, so he have to give us. He is lucky, he didn't spoilt my mood. =)









26 December 2009







One week of long-stay in Sandakan has passed. Until now than I realised that actually baby Ken's name wasn't spelled this way, is K-E-N-T, Kent. Mention about this boy, he is a cry baby plus mischeivous plus cute boy. This minute he laugh out loud, another minute he cry like as if he can turn the house upside down. His crying voice is sharp and loud, but sometimes no tears. Cute is because he is now learning to speak hakka, english, chinese and malay. The most cute pronouciation he had is, MILO, he pronouced it as "bae voh" with his sharp sharp upper lip, duper cute! >.<!!









We taught him BABY MILO, he pronouced as "baby bae voh", in hakka if u don't want something, we will say "hm moi", but with his cute face, he will say "hm moi oh!" with his baby tone plus "chao lin dai" pronouciation. =) My dad taught him to say - Ah Kent naughty boy, he follows, but I wonder if he understands, but what matters more is he learnt something which his mother will not teach him.









Just now my mother-in-law went for Mahjong session when baby Kent is asleep and left him in our care, when comes to night, he cry like he is going to tear the rooftop away. He says he want to eat, we gave him, after eating, he cry again so we assume that he wants to go to bed, so we put him into the "yao lan". He cried until the window like going to burst, so laogong's fire already on his neck already, so he grab a hanger and smack onto his butt and I think accidentally hit his thigh, after hitting, I saw my father-in-law come out of his room and console Kent. Laogong say pa most dote on Kent this grandson. I say of cause, Kent is his first grandson with surname L-E-E. No wonder whenever anyone beat him, he will quickly rush to his side for protection, because even ma beat him, pa also will scold ma, so can assume pa is Kent's biggest mountain. =)









27 December 2009









Today we went to the studio to try the "hun sha". I chose 1 whole white with a bit of decoration and ma helped me choose another one with pink flower if not wrong, quite nice, but the whole design makes me FAT! So the lady boss helped me choose a halter neck one, that was nice, no wonder she can be lady boss, she totally knows what suits me most just for 1 glance, PRO! "Pei fu pei fu". Will be taking the photos on the 3rd of January 2010. =)









When baby Kent is asleep, ma says she is going over to her friend's house for mahjong session, so we send her over, after that we went to the nearby mini mart to buy ice cream for Kent, cause ma gave him RM5 when he is crying in the car and told him that she is going to market for groceries. -_-" Ok, it's a bit lame, but Kent totally believed her and stop crying, but after she gone down from the car, he is jumping up and down and asking for popo, after eating ice cream, his crying went lesser and lesser until night time when we taught him to say "chong chong" and again, he pronouced wrongly and it become "dong dong". -_-" But he's cute! =)









At first the worm is moving and laogong tell him to use the lighter to touch it, and the worm curl up very fast and Kent is shock and he smile so sweetly, I can never forget that look, so adorable, after that he went to take his stool to cover the worm because he is afraid that the worm will bite him, so I bluff him and say shhh, the worm is sleeping. He quickly put his index finger on his lip and shhhh... how adorable right?!









This whole night is very peaceful, he did not cry at all, and he will ask for "gu lat" when he feels hungry. By the way, "gu lat" is chocolate. =) If I have my children with me in future, I will love them and dote on them alot and definitely will teach them alot of things, I bet I will did a good job, after slacking for so many days, I suddenly thought of names for my children in future. I would like to use back "wei" as their middle name. =)









I think I want to have as many kids as I can, no matter 3 or 4, I just like kids. Seeing Jack so adorable and good, Linda so "dong shi" and she dote on her brother so much, making me having the urge to faster recover and have kids again. =) I want everything to be nature course, but mum insisted on asking me to go to temple for "tiao yang" and go on protection asking me not to conceive so fast, but I don't want! Why wait? Ma say no need to do so many "machiam", although I think so too, but what can I say? *Sigh*









28 December 2009







Today after breakfast we just come back home and slack until around 2pm we went to Giant to buy groceries for tonight's BBQ at home. WeeeeeEEEEE! Bought lamb leg, beef, pork, chicken meat and chicken internal parts and marshmellow. This is the first time Linda tried marshmellow BBQ, she say it's so NICEEEEEEEEEEE! LOLs! Really had lots of fun tonight. =)









29 December 2009









Woke up at 8am today, kind of late and also can say me and laogong is the last one to wake up. We had our breakfast in one shop specialist in "bah kut teh", the soup is quite nice although it's full of pepper taste.After finish our breakfast, we went to "Tai Chung Supermart" for groceries and some other titbits like ikan bilis snack for my cousin, mother-in-law bought me a box of instant bird nest, at first I say I don't want, but she insist so I had to say yes, lucky it wasn't very expensive, just Rm15 if not I will feel pai seh, LOL!









The whole of today is bored and quiet, the most noisy sound and voice we heard is from TV, because Kent is not around here, abit boring. Just now after we come back from fetching laogong's brother, we found out that meiling went missing, searching high and low for her, in the end mother-in-law found her in one of her neighbour's house. She didn't inform anybody where to was going, scare the hell out of everyone. Phew! Bestie, she is the one I told you that she will steal things. Well, say frankly, I am not anxious that she went lost, if it's linda I will be worried sick, I know I am bias, but I don't know why, I don't have the feeling of talking to her, just feel that she is so irritating. -_-" Whatever.







5 more days to end my confinement, so happy! LOLS! No need to wear long pants everyday, and have no more restrictions in eating. YAY! Congrats me. =)))))

260th Post.

Was chatting on MSN with Bestie, and I told her that brother-in-law's house has sausage dog, after that I told her that Baby Ken will go chasing after the sausage dog, then she went to draw this. I told her the dog she drew looks more like a sheep, even laogong also said that. LOL! Not I want to be wet blanket.

She went to drew this after we laughed at her. LOL! But still, the sheep looks quite funny, now I look at the dog she drew again, reminds me of bug. LOL! WTH!

Weeee, tomorrow is Friday already!!

Laogong already bought titbits for the kids, can't wait to see their glutton faces, haha! Laogong see them like his own kids, whatever they say he also okay, but he know how to control so that the demands won't go over line, I wonder how he did it. =)

I hope I can have my own kids soon. =)

Finally.

So excited!

This Saturday will be going over to Sabah for 1 month stay! =)

I will be there from 19th December 2009 to 23rd January 2010.

Going over there to continue my confinement as my mother-in-law know more things about confinement, my mum will be going over there too. She say she's going to learn how to cook from my mother-in-law.

Baby Ken ask for chocolate over the phone from laogong in the morning, so cute. LOL! Say frankly, although I kept saying that he is very mischievous, but I really can't wait to see him, not forgetting laogong's sweetheart Linda. =)

Let bygone be bygone.

Today had chicken rice cooked by hubby. Quite nice. =)

Mum told me not to think about them anymore. Just let them go. SO that they can come back again. Maybe I really should heed her advice.

Outdated pictures

We are officially married.


Mum, Me, Laogong, Dad.


Me, Laogong, Laogong's Cousin.


Bergim, SiHui, Me, Laogong, KianHuan.


BESTIE!, Me, Laogong.


Laogong, Me, Bergim, Bergu.

Done with photo updates! (:

Confinement is horrible!

Flu bugs is bugging me again!! Think too heaty already, totally like going to have nose bleeding soon. Oh holy!

When you can live forever, what do you live for?

I love it when my fingers are entangled in yours, my head is on your chest, and I'm listening to your heartbeat. It makes me feel like nothing could ever go wrong and I'm totally and completely safe with you.

Wake up early today, after eating breakfast mummy prepare herbal water for bath. Feels better, not so sticky already. (((((: Went to clinic for checkup, the wound has already healed. Hooray!

I feel like taking a cold bath. LOL!

(: Guess I'm getting better.

I guess I can control my emotions and I can control myself from missing them too much. I really miss them so much when it comes to night before I sleeps.

I will be fine after 1 month, will see less blockquotes post. =)

Laogong is doing mask now, I feel like laughing. LOL! Love him so much! Really thank you for everything. =)*Muah*

(((((:

I think I had learn how to control my tears. I know they will come back to be my sons again. The only thing I had to learn now is to stop myself from missing them everyday, but it seems so difficult.

Thanks to those friends and relatives who cares for me no matter through facebook or by SMS, I really appreciate it.

THANK YOU

I know we shouldn't blame those doctors who never discover my boys earlier and prescribe me with injections and medicines, but I am so angry that even when the doctor helps me 把脉 and listens to my heartbeats, he also didn't discover. Is it really no fate? After so many old and young doctors I see, only the youngest looking doctor discovered that I am pregnant.

My mum said, my boys were good boys, they didn't make me suffer too much pain, and they just go off peacefully and not making me worried some more. Upon hearing this just now, makes my heartaches and I miss them so much.

我好想念他们！I really couldn't control. I don't know how.

Life's like rollercoaster.

I guess I still can't get over this roller coaster emotions. Whenever I close my eyes, all I do is imagine how they look like and recalling how warm they are when I first touched them. Can anyone wake me up?!?!?!

Although I still can't get over this trauma, but I will be strong! I want twin boys again. I must 调养好 and 再接再厉. I know Bestie will feel relieve after seeing this. =) Really thank you Bestie and her mum, they are like my family, care for me whenever is needed, I feel really thankful. Bestie, we will be friends till we are old and it's a must. =)

It's the forth day of my one month confinement. Had lots of ginger and different kinds of wine. Grateful to hubby, mummy and daddy. Hubby helps me to wash my hair, bathe me and cook for me and my family. Mummy help me with bathing water, drinks etc, daddy helps me peel and cut fruits and bring to me on bed. I suddenly feel that I am so lucky to be born in this family.

Most importantly, 我很确定我没嫁错人．Oh! Have to thank my mother-in-law too, she is the one who taught me to soak myself into tub with salt water to help the wound heal faster and it works like wonder, the next day my wound wasn't so pain already. =)

My mum told me hubby cry so hard when he was looking at our sons that day, from that I know he really love kids, isn't it also a sign of a good husband? Haha!

Update(2)

I just saw my sons' death certificate, it's making me miss them more. I keep telling myself to be strong and I know I have to be. They will always be in my memories, because I once feel them, they are warm. =)

Love them & miss them. ♥

Updates

PLEASE DON'T CONSOLE ME, I DON'T WANT TO BREAK IN TEARS AGAIN.

My boys were born on the second of December in the afternoon, they left quietly after 4½ hours of struggling, but I knew it only in the evening.

05th Dec 2009

Engagement day! Love laogong so much! =) Thank you for everything. I knew I can rely on you for the rest of my life. =)